Scroll through TikTok or Instagram, and you’ll find countless videos of women embracing the “soft girl” lifestyle—flowy pastel dresses, cozy self-care routines, slow mornings with tea, journaling, and an emphasis on emotional vulnerability. At first glance, it seems like just another aesthetic trend, but at its core, the soft girl movement is something deeper: a response to exhaustion.

For so long, women have been expected to embody strength at all costs. Society has conditioned us to be resilient, to push through pain, to carry emotional and mental burdens without complaint. But now, a growing number of women are rejecting the “strong woman” narrative—not because they aren’t strong, but because they are tired of being expected to be strong at the expense of their well-being. The soft girl era isn’t just about looking delicate—it’s about reclaiming the right to be vulnerable, to rest, and to exist without constantly proving our worth.

“The world is not getting easier for women. The pressures of building a career, finding a partner, creating financial stability in a changing world, and then conceiving, bearing and raising children have become near-unbearable, to the point where women are either being prevented from having kids, or finding themselves forced out of the workforce once they do,” shares Melissa Saleh, former journalist and serial entrepreneur.

The Strain of Strength

From childhood, many women are taught that being strong is a requirement. We’re expected to be independent, high-achieving, emotionally supportive to others, and unshaken by life’s challenges. We carry households, careers, relationships, and our own personal struggles, often with little room to express our exhaustion.

For women of color, especially Black women, this pressure is even more intense. The “strong Black woman” trope has made it nearly impossible for many to express vulnerability without being perceived as weak or incapable. The same goes for single mothers, women in male-dominated industries, and those who have spent their lives being the caretakers for everyone around them. Society admires strong women but rarely stops to ask whether they want or need to be strong all the time.

The soft girl trend is a rebellion against that expectation. It is a way of saying: I am more than my ability to endure hardship. I deserve rest, softness, and care.

“Women are taught to shrink their pain, to tuck it away in quiet corners where it won’t make others uncomfortable. At the same time, the rates of infertility, miscarriage, stillbirth, infant loss and birth trauma are rising steadily, and American women are facing more pain and physical hardship than ever when it comes to having children,” contends Saleh.

Softness is a Relief

Embracing gentleness—toward ourselves and our emotions—is an act of strength. Choosing softness means allowing ourselves to feel, to take breaks, to say no to things that drain us.

This shift is crucial because many women have been conditioned to suppress their pain. We minimize our struggles because we don’t want to be a burden. We work through heartbreak, anxiety, and grief without giving ourselves space to heal. The result? Burnout, resentment, and an emotional disconnect from ourselves.

Saleh tells us that, “After losing my daughter at birth, I was in a tremendous amount of pain. It blinded me. It was the hardest period of my life; I had to endure months of trauma therapy and grief counseling, but it transformed me. Because pain is not a stain that makes you unworthy of being seen: It is a thread woven into the fabric of who you are… A mark of endurance, not of brokenness.”

The soft girl movement encourages women to prioritize self-care, not just in the commercialized “bubble bath and candles” way, but in a meaningful way such as: setting boundaries, prioritizing your emotional health, and embracing your femininity with vulnerability. 

For some, this means quitting the hustle culture that demands constant productivity. For others, it means unlearning the idea that expressing sadness or frustration makes them dramatic or difficult.

While the aesthetic side of the soft girl movement might fade over time, the deeper message behind it should not. Women deserve spaces where they can express vulnerability without judgment. They deserve to live lives that aren’t defined by constant struggle.

So, if you’ve been feeling exhausted by the weight of always being “strong,” know that you are not alone. You have permission to be soft, to rest, and to choose a life that nurtures rather than drains you. Strength and softness are not opposites—they are both necessary parts of being whole.